I led a study that involved interviewing 13 women who had experienced miscarriage(s) prior to having a ‘rainbow baby’. The key findings are described below.
Seeking control and reassurance
Women experienced heightened anxiety, fears of future loss and were hypervigilant to signs of possible problems. In response, women looked for reassurance through different avenues.
Examples included encouraging movements and paying privately for additional scans:
“...play songs and kind of like, do the little torch thing to try and make a move...” (Maisy)
“...every scan filled you with terror. But then if you found out you weren't going to have a scan for a couple of weeks, then you'd be terrified too.” (Zara)
Cautious engagement
Heightened anxiety also led to women taking self-protection measures. For example, controlling how emotionally invested women were in their new pregnancy to try to manage potential heartbreak.
“...you got to be really careful, because you might not bring a baby home and you don't want to get too attached.” (Molly)
Divided loyalties and unavoidable feelings
Pregnancy after miscarriage often involved balancing grieving their lost baby whilst also tending to the one they were now carrying. There was no certain way to work through this, and every mother had their own way that felt tolerable and meaningful. Some referred to using memory boxes and other women spoke about putting grief on hold for a while.
Feeling lonely and isolated
For some women, the experience of being pregnant after miscarriage(s) felt isolating. While they valued reassurance and recognition, women felt that others could not truly understand how they were feeling.
“Very rarely do people actually say to me, ‘This must be so tough for you’. That acknowledgement...It's sometimes enough.” (Oma)
Daring to hope
Despite challenges, women showed bravery and courage in not only being pregnant again, but in eventually allowing themselves to trust the process.
“Women like me, basically, have the courage to put themselves through that again” (Ivy)
For many mothers, like Ava, who said “I also had to have that bit of hope”, starting to believe in a positive outcome wasn’t a passive process, but an active decision.
Implications
Recognition of grief: Health professionals should acknowledge previous miscarriage and allow women space to discuss the impact of their loss on current pregnancy.
Reassurance: Clinicians should consider offering additional reassurance, from sensitive language and online resources to additional monitoring and scans (where possible).
Empowering through choice: Care should reflect women’s needs, tailoring support to promote a woman’s sense of control.
Kirby is a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology student in her final year of training at Coventry University and The University of Warwick. She has an interest and experience in perinatal mental health and trauma-focused therapy.
