What does loneliness really feel like for a single mother?

Introduction

In the UK, nearly 2 million single parents are raising children alone, with 89% of these being single mothers. Many face something that isn’t always visible: loneliness.

Loneliness can have detrimental effects on psychological wellbeing and increase the risk of anxiety and depression. This research explores how loneliness is experienced in everyday life and why it matters for single mothers, their children and wider society. I spoke with ten single mothers to understand what loneliness felt like and how it impacted their psychological wellbeing.

More than being alone: A lack of deep connection

A key finding from this study is that loneliness isn’t about being physically alone, it is an absence of meaningful connections. Single mothers described a longing for someone who understands their daily lives - someone to share both the small and significant moments with. Light-hearted chit chat or social media interactions often felt surface-level and dissatisfying. Increasing the number of social interactions isn’t enough. What really matters is depth, trust and emotional closeness. Without this, feelings of loneliness continue even when people are surrounded by others.

“You don’t always show that you’re lonely”: The fear of judgement

Another key finding was the fear of being judged or rejected. Many single mothers felt a pressure to appear strong and able to cope. They often hid their loneliness by presenting as happy and not talking about feeling lonely. For some single mothers, admitting that they felt lonely felt like a failure. Over time, this reduced confidence and made social situations feel overwhelming, feeling anxious about how others might view them.

“Will it always be like this?”: Worrying about the future

Loneliness was experienced in the present and extended into the future. Many single mothers worried that they would always feel lonely, with this ongoing uncertainty then leading to anxiety. Single mothers also worried about how their future loneliness might affect their children.

“Who am I?”: Loss of identity

Loneliness affected how single mothers saw themselves, comparing their current lives to who they were before becoming a single mother. They spoke about missing activities that once brought joy and connection and noticing changes in their personality. Over time, this led to a sense of lost identity and feeling unsure of who they are.

Why this matters?

These findings show that loneliness has consequences. When single mothers feel lonely, it can impact upon:

• Feeling like they don’t belong;
• Feeling like a burden to others;
• Poor emotional wellbeing including anxiety, low mood and stress.

What needs to change?

Loneliness among single mothers is about feeling unseen, unheard and judged. Change means creating spaces where single mothers can form authentic and meaningful connections without fear of stigma. This includes peer support groups, accessible services and more open conversations about loneliness. By understanding these lived experiences, we can begin to shift the narrative from blame to support and provide a happier and healthier future for mothers and their children.